I think it's possibly been 5 weeks (maybe 6 ??) since starting the full therapy.......so far so good I guess.
It is a wee bit hard as far as time management goes, but I think it helps that I was already on a modified version for a year. In the same respect that makes it worse as the other inhabitants of the house presume it's fine for me to just keep doing everything and that I should ASK for help, like it's my sole responsibility to make sure they are all fed and clothed. That's another story though.
Finally getting a foo mill this week so I can make the hippocrates soup properly! What a highlight hey!?
C........for cancer.
C........for castor oil.
C........apparently NOT for CRAP!!
I was VERY nervous about the castor oil days as I had heard such horror stories......crapping/spewing.....so I worked myself up and I did it!!!!
And....................NOTHING!! It did nothing! Bloody freak that I am. So I waited to speak to Naturopath again before attempting it again in case I was doing it wrong or something. NO it seems I'm just bizarre, well possibly more because I had been vegan for a year already and doing enemas twice a day. The castor oil therapy is supposed to result in a big release of toxins from the liver etc (this is why it's not really suggested to people who've already had chemo as it would release a huge amount of toxins). So basically YAY for me not having to feel the wrath of Castor oil!! YAY me for going 26yrs without experiencing diarrhea! GROSS I know but I was scared!!
Other than that I guess I've been coping OK I guess, obviously feeling a bit overwhelmed at times. I was ready to just pack it all in the other day. It was all just getting too hard, the fighting at home, the lack of money, craving something to eat, the reality of the climb I have, it was all just building up inside of me and I was ready to just "whatever be, be". Just impatient with people and with myself. Over feeling like people are just hopeless really, over feeling like no one understands and feeling like I'm seeking attention by stomping my feet (metaphorically) and screaming at them to wake up and help me.
I hate asking for help from anyone and I hate even more admitting I need help just to be treated like I'm making excuses or something. I was ready to give up and that's not like me. I'm stubborn and I don't like to lose but my spirit was getting a bit chipped.
But today is a new day and if I keep feeling like that than I have to no one to blame but myself. I am the only person who can provide myself with happiness, no one else. I am the only person I can depend on as I'm the only one who is there with me at the end of the day, no matter how angry I am with me or disappointed I can't escape myself. And I am the only person who can put as much effort into helping myself as I do others, even when they don't think I am.....stupidly (maybe) I keep putting that effort in to everyone else. I sound like I think I'm awesome........but I don't, 98% of the time I hate or dislike me and the other 2% of the time I'm sleeping, haha (I think).
It's not been a full month of feeling sorry for me! It's had good things, my son turned 4!! Seems yesterday he was born, he continues to provide me with smiles everyday, even when he informs me I can't hug him as he is a little man.
And most recently I tested my pH (which I haven't done for months) and it seems that I am now.............. alkaline!!!! So high five me!! High five this hard path if it helps to get me to a smoother one. So each time I'm looking at my green juice I just think "get that number up to 8.5" and skull!!! pH of 7.4 cancer cells are supposed to become dormant and at 8.5 DIE!! So this is my nirvana! A body that is alkaline that will not tolerate cancer cells growing in it!
Maybe tomorrow I'll jibber about alkaline foods?? Maybe, who knows with me. But it seems I need to start trying to focus on that happy path again :-)
So until I remember my login in again remember that 'The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable' so hopefully I'm getting closer to my freedom.
It is a wee bit hard as far as time management goes, but I think it helps that I was already on a modified version for a year. In the same respect that makes it worse as the other inhabitants of the house presume it's fine for me to just keep doing everything and that I should ASK for help, like it's my sole responsibility to make sure they are all fed and clothed. That's another story though.
Finally getting a foo mill this week so I can make the hippocrates soup properly! What a highlight hey!?
C........for cancer.
C........for castor oil.
C........apparently NOT for CRAP!!
I was VERY nervous about the castor oil days as I had heard such horror stories......crapping/spewing.....so I worked myself up and I did it!!!!
And....................NOTHING!! It did nothing! Bloody freak that I am. So I waited to speak to Naturopath again before attempting it again in case I was doing it wrong or something. NO it seems I'm just bizarre, well possibly more because I had been vegan for a year already and doing enemas twice a day. The castor oil therapy is supposed to result in a big release of toxins from the liver etc (this is why it's not really suggested to people who've already had chemo as it would release a huge amount of toxins). So basically YAY for me not having to feel the wrath of Castor oil!! YAY me for going 26yrs without experiencing diarrhea! GROSS I know but I was scared!!
Other than that I guess I've been coping OK I guess, obviously feeling a bit overwhelmed at times. I was ready to just pack it all in the other day. It was all just getting too hard, the fighting at home, the lack of money, craving something to eat, the reality of the climb I have, it was all just building up inside of me and I was ready to just "whatever be, be". Just impatient with people and with myself. Over feeling like people are just hopeless really, over feeling like no one understands and feeling like I'm seeking attention by stomping my feet (metaphorically) and screaming at them to wake up and help me.
I hate asking for help from anyone and I hate even more admitting I need help just to be treated like I'm making excuses or something. I was ready to give up and that's not like me. I'm stubborn and I don't like to lose but my spirit was getting a bit chipped.
But today is a new day and if I keep feeling like that than I have to no one to blame but myself. I am the only person who can provide myself with happiness, no one else. I am the only person I can depend on as I'm the only one who is there with me at the end of the day, no matter how angry I am with me or disappointed I can't escape myself. And I am the only person who can put as much effort into helping myself as I do others, even when they don't think I am.....stupidly (maybe) I keep putting that effort in to everyone else. I sound like I think I'm awesome........but I don't, 98% of the time I hate or dislike me and the other 2% of the time I'm sleeping, haha (I think).
It's not been a full month of feeling sorry for me! It's had good things, my son turned 4!! Seems yesterday he was born, he continues to provide me with smiles everyday, even when he informs me I can't hug him as he is a little man.
And most recently I tested my pH (which I haven't done for months) and it seems that I am now.............. alkaline!!!! So high five me!! High five this hard path if it helps to get me to a smoother one. So each time I'm looking at my green juice I just think "get that number up to 8.5" and skull!!! pH of 7.4 cancer cells are supposed to become dormant and at 8.5 DIE!! So this is my nirvana! A body that is alkaline that will not tolerate cancer cells growing in it!
Maybe tomorrow I'll jibber about alkaline foods?? Maybe, who knows with me. But it seems I need to start trying to focus on that happy path again :-)
So until I remember my login in again remember that 'The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable' so hopefully I'm getting closer to my freedom.
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