Sorry for ANOTHER anniversary post, how boring I KNOW
So yesterday marked another "year since" passed by me yesterday. One year since THE operation. One year since I thought the worst was OVER!! One year since I got Wheeled into surgery, remembering my tongue bar at the last minute!! Telling the anesthetist not to put a catheter in "just to but a bucket under me". Telling the Drs not to cut all my hair off!
Then waking up! Was BAD I couldn't talk, I wanted to spew, my head felt like cement, I was hot and sweating, I couldn't move my legs!! Brain surgery you're a bitch from hell!!! I prefer to re live my 9'6" son busting his way out of my vagina any day!!!
Tried telling a nurse you're going to spew when you can't talk?! Tried to act all fine when the surgeons come to check on you!? I must of looked like a tard, I swear I was probably drooling!
Shoot me up with something so
I don't spew!!! Yep that worked......oh no a bit more please!!
Pain killers??? Yes please it hurts! I want to cry.....
Off to ICU, excellent.......uncomfortable, take my vitals every 30-1hr, pain killers, can't talk properly!!!! Noise, lights, this is not working for me!!!! finally some visitors allowed in to see I am alive!! Don't know if I could talk? John? Sara? I think I tried.
My head hurts, my legs are uncomfortable and hot!! Stupid pressure stockings and plastic breathing balloons over them!!
Bloody catheter!!!
Aaarrrggghhh there's a tube coming from my head going into a bag hanging next to me! Great a brain fluid handbag!!!!!
Lovely nurse takes pity on me and give me a quick sponge bath, so hot.
I live through the VERY long night!!! Apparently during which panadol was deemed a strong enough pain killer?!
Nurse change over, she is awesome!!! Because? She takes out the catheter even though bloody Drs think leave it!!! Plus she let's me get up and walk and have a shower!!!!!! Bliss!! I look a fright!! Crazy head ware! Juggle Trendy sack of blood handbag and drip.....but I'm clean! And hungry!!!!!!
Ok so I thought it was over.........
So the next chapter is about to start! Two weeks and I should be a fully fledged full time gerson devotee!! I've been reading and re-reading over my new timetable etc.......by jingos! I'm excited but anxious!!! Still more supplements to organise but this will all happen. Another fridge to source, but that's easy. Trying to think how I can make money from home to support my expensive organic requirements, not so easy! So far my top two ideas are being a drug dealer or running a brothel.......apparently not really legal??? I am determined that I will be able to work 12hours to cover boys pre school, just need to find some other magic money.......today I thought I could make nice quilt covers?? Blinds?? Yep I think being a drug dealer is easier.
So I spent my anniversary taking boy to swimming, cleaning, cooking, then going to work. I love that my life is normal!! And I wouldn't want it to be anything but!
Started reading a book today and it stated something so simple "we project our self criticism onto others", which is very true and something I really need to try and be mindful of!
Also "stop blaming anyone or anything for your situation", this I think is so powerful. People don't MAKE me angry, I get angry as a reaction, something or someone didn't make me sick, I got sick because my body could not cope with how it was being treated.
Anyhow, my mind is a mess and rambling!! You'd think surgery was 12 hours ago not 12 months!! Need to find some balance....
To my fellow captain ;-) "in time this will all pass, and we will toast you all with fresh kale and wheatgrass juice, because we want to"
So yesterday marked another "year since" passed by me yesterday. One year since THE operation. One year since I thought the worst was OVER!! One year since I got Wheeled into surgery, remembering my tongue bar at the last minute!! Telling the anesthetist not to put a catheter in "just to but a bucket under me". Telling the Drs not to cut all my hair off!
Then waking up! Was BAD I couldn't talk, I wanted to spew, my head felt like cement, I was hot and sweating, I couldn't move my legs!! Brain surgery you're a bitch from hell!!! I prefer to re live my 9'6" son busting his way out of my vagina any day!!!
Tried telling a nurse you're going to spew when you can't talk?! Tried to act all fine when the surgeons come to check on you!? I must of looked like a tard, I swear I was probably drooling!
Shoot me up with something so
I don't spew!!! Yep that worked......oh no a bit more please!!
Pain killers??? Yes please it hurts! I want to cry.....
Off to ICU, excellent.......uncomfortable, take my vitals every 30-1hr, pain killers, can't talk properly!!!! Noise, lights, this is not working for me!!!! finally some visitors allowed in to see I am alive!! Don't know if I could talk? John? Sara? I think I tried.
My head hurts, my legs are uncomfortable and hot!! Stupid pressure stockings and plastic breathing balloons over them!!
Bloody catheter!!!
Aaarrrggghhh there's a tube coming from my head going into a bag hanging next to me! Great a brain fluid handbag!!!!!
Lovely nurse takes pity on me and give me a quick sponge bath, so hot.
I live through the VERY long night!!! Apparently during which panadol was deemed a strong enough pain killer?!
Nurse change over, she is awesome!!! Because? She takes out the catheter even though bloody Drs think leave it!!! Plus she let's me get up and walk and have a shower!!!!!! Bliss!! I look a fright!! Crazy head ware! Juggle Trendy sack of blood handbag and drip.....but I'm clean! And hungry!!!!!!
Ok so I thought it was over.........
So the next chapter is about to start! Two weeks and I should be a fully fledged full time gerson devotee!! I've been reading and re-reading over my new timetable etc.......by jingos! I'm excited but anxious!!! Still more supplements to organise but this will all happen. Another fridge to source, but that's easy. Trying to think how I can make money from home to support my expensive organic requirements, not so easy! So far my top two ideas are being a drug dealer or running a brothel.......apparently not really legal??? I am determined that I will be able to work 12hours to cover boys pre school, just need to find some other magic money.......today I thought I could make nice quilt covers?? Blinds?? Yep I think being a drug dealer is easier.
So I spent my anniversary taking boy to swimming, cleaning, cooking, then going to work. I love that my life is normal!! And I wouldn't want it to be anything but!
Started reading a book today and it stated something so simple "we project our self criticism onto others", which is very true and something I really need to try and be mindful of!
Also "stop blaming anyone or anything for your situation", this I think is so powerful. People don't MAKE me angry, I get angry as a reaction, something or someone didn't make me sick, I got sick because my body could not cope with how it was being treated.
Anyhow, my mind is a mess and rambling!! You'd think surgery was 12 hours ago not 12 months!! Need to find some balance....
To my fellow captain ;-) "in time this will all pass, and we will toast you all with fresh kale and wheatgrass juice, because we want to"
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